Letter to God

Father, this morning, my heart is actually in physical pain. I literally had to remind my body to breathe as I prayed.  I read a post on Facebook asking for prayer for a small baby suffering from cancer, and her family whose only hope is in You.  I prayed for a miracle, will you God of miracles grant us one for this child? For her family?  Please, I pray.

Then Ruach brought to my attention all the babies we have slaughtered.  And those yet to be slaughtered through the depth of the wickedness central and core to this nation.  I feel so helpless and angry.  I am most angry at those who profess to love you, who vote for platforms and people that support abortion.  I want to tear my clothes, to put on sackcloth and ashes. But I also want to wag my finger in the faces of those within the Body of Christ who vote for the Godless Democratic party (not that the Republican party is righteous by any means) and its platform and say, you are in the enemy camp!! I want to kick cages and say how dare you support this evil using my Father's name?

I am reminded of my own sin and the depth of depravity you saved me from.  And I know in my head (and in my spirit behind the anger today) that this battle is not against flesh and blood, but against those powers and principalities and rulers of darkness that have sought to replace You, God, from the time even before Eve ate of the fruit.  And I know deep in my spirit that the time is soon when Yeshua will most surely come to redeem creation.  But, Lord, I’m grieving.  And if I’m grieving so deeply, I cannot imagine the depth of your pain as you gaze down upon your creation.

I long for you Yeshua. I long for your return. I am reminded that I also have children who are not in fellowship and walking with you. Like those Christians who support this abomination, they are simply lost and don’t know it.  I trust you with my children Lord. So then how can I not trust you to reveal yourself to those deluded within the Church? I cry out to You for the salvation of my children, confident that in Your perfect time, you will save them because of your promise in Acts 16:31 and Jeremiah 31. I think about what kind of world my grandchildren will inherit should you tarry, and the sorrow deepens.  So then, am I not to feel this very same sorrow for the lost of this world?

Today, I feel like David did so many times, inconsolable. Where is the balance?  I pray. Where does compassion stop and tough, hard, preaching begin? Why, Lord is the church so blind and broken today? So oblivious to the battle and its source?  They don’t want to hear you are coming soon. They laugh and mock, criticize and scorn. I know that my calling is as a watchman, and sometimes I hate it. It would be so much easier if I didn’t know what is right around the corner.  Yet, I know that you know, even on days like today, that I desire more than anything to be in obedience to you.  I need you, Lord, please help me.  Please anoint me to pray for those I am so angry with, those who murder your babies, like Daniel prayed for his nation.  Replace my anger with a loving heart for them. Please give me Daniel’s heart.

I have asked you and this is what you have revealed to me as to why the church is so embedded with wickedness:

2 Thessalonians 2

Now, brethren, concerning the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our gathering together to Him, we ask you, 2 not to be soon shaken in mind or troubled, either by spirit or by word or by letter, as if from us, as though the day of Christ had come. 3 Let no one deceive you by any means; for that Day will not come unless the falling away comes first, and the man of sin is revealed, the son of perdition, 4 who opposes and exalts himself above all that is called God or that is worshiped, so that he sits as God in the temple of God, showing himself that he is God.

5 Do you not remember that when I was still with you I told you these things? 6 And now you know what is restraining, that he may be revealed in his own time. 7 For the mystery of lawlessness is already at work; only He who now restrains will do so until He is taken out of the way. 8 And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord will consume with the breath of His mouth and destroy with the brightness of His coming. 9 The coming of the lawless one is according to the working of Satan, with all power, signs, and lying wonders, 10 and with all unrighteous deception among those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth, that they might be saved. 11 And for this reason God will send them strong delusion, that they should believe the lie, 12 that they all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

13 But we are bound to give thanks to God always for you, brethren beloved by the Lord, because God from the beginning chose you for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth, 14 to which He called you by our gospel, for the obtaining of the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Therefore, brethren, stand fast and hold the traditions which you were taught, whether by word or our epistle. 16 Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and our God and Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting consolation and good hope by grace, 17 comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work.

Romans 1

 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, 19 because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. 20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, 21 because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Professing to be wise, they became fools, 23 and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man—and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things.

24 Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, 25 who exchanged the truth of God for the lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.

26 For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. 27 Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.

28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; 29 being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, 30 backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; 32 who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.

Even these things Lord, the wickedness, the depravity, are in Your sovereign hands.  I cannot see or comprehend the entire picture, but only those things that you give me.  But I seek to understand your mysteries.  I long to call the sleepers to awaken. I cry out for the church to come alive.

Oh, Lord, I remember when you ministered to my heart so many years ago and helped me to pray for one I loved but who had hurt me so deeply. You told me to begin to see that person as a prisoner of war.  You helped me do that, and the anger faded to compassion.  It was no longer so hard to pray.  Lord, help me to see your fallen church in the same way.  Please forgive us in our misguided quest to make the church more appealing to the world by engaging the world’s strategies and in doing so not bringing them to holiness but rather welcoming the attitudes of the world into the church.

And finally, Father, let me pray this morning, as Daniel prayed. Thank you for Daniel, Lord. Thank you for all that you’ve blessed me with in Daniel’s obedience. Thank you for his pattern of determination to serve You at all cost. Help me be more like Daniel, Lord, more like Yeshua. Please, Abba, never let me bring dishonor to Your name.

Father God, in the name of Yeshua, I come into your presence this morning with gratitude.  It is only in that name above all names, I find confidence and assurance of your sovereignty in all things and know that you are Lord of all.  In Yeshua, name above all names, I rejoice in your faithfulness – even in the midst of terrible and dark times. Times that leave me reminding myself "breathe, Kay, breathe".

Today, Father God, let me set my face toward you as Daniel set his face before you in confession and intercession.  Father, I pray that you will bring your people, and let it begin with me, to the place of prayer and supplications, with fasting, sackcloth, and ashes and help us understand exactly where we are on Your timetable.

We make our confession to you, Lord our God, even as we bow humbly before you, understanding as Daniel understood that you are our great and awesome God, who keeps His covenant and mercy with those who love Him, and with those who keep His commandments.  In anguish, let us stand with our brothers and sisters in Yeshua who confess our sin and the iniquities we have committed as both your Church in America and our nation which has rebelled and rejected you.  May you forgive our continuing sin, wickedness, and rebellion. 

Have mercy on us, Lord God, for holding fast to the things of the world and failing to pursue Your righteousness and holiness. Forgive us, Father God, for our departure from Your precepts and Your judgments. As a nation, we have and continue to reject You, rebel against you, and arrogantly declare ourselves as god.  As a Church and a people, we have not heeded Your servants the prophets, who spoke in Your name to our family, church and governmental leaders and to all the people of the land from the time you established this nation until now when our nation is in process of destroying itself.

O Lord, righteousness belongs to You, but to us shame of face, as it is this day—to the men and women of California and every state, to the inhabitants of our cities, including Menifee, Siouxland, and all of America, to those near and those far off.  I cry out and ask you restore those who once knew you but wandered in all the places to which You have driven them, because of the unfaithfulness which they have committed against You.

Lord, to us rightly belongs shame of face: to our President, our Congress, our Courts, our local leaders, our pastors and church leaders and our family leaders because we have sinned against You. Yet we know that it is in You alone Lord our God, we find the title to mercy and forgiveness. We are without excuse in our rebellion against You.  

Forgive us, we pray for not obeying the voice of the Lord our God, to walk in Your laws, which You set before us by Your servants the prophets. All of America has transgressed Your law, zealously participated in things that you hate, and has rebelled against Your voice; therefore the curse and the oath written in the Law of Moses the servant of God has been poured out on us, because we have sinned against You.  And You are confirming the words, which You spoke against us and against our judges who judged us. The natural consequences of our sin are upon this nation.  Your judgment comes.

“As it is written in the Law of Moses, all this disaster and moral breakdown and decay has come upon us; yet we have not repented before the Lord our God, and turned from our iniquities. Nor have we sought to understand or obey Your truth. Therefore the Lord has given us the just consequence of our sin, and brought it upon us; for the Lord our God is righteous in all the works which He does, though we have not obeyed His voice. And now, O Lord our God, who brought Your people out of the land of Egypt with a mighty hand, and made Yourself a name, as it is this day—we have sinned, we have done wickedly! Will you now, oh Lord, bring your people in America out of the bondage of their sin?

Hoping only in Your righteousness, Lord I pray, let Your anger and Your fury be turned away from Your cities Menifee and Sioux City, and the surrounding cities and villages throughout our nation. Forgive your people for turning away from Your people the Jews, and not seeing them as a ripe and ready mission field.  Forgive your people, the Church, for their arrogance and ignorance in assuming that you would turn your back on your Word, your covenant with Israel and replace them with a Church that is lukewarm and has rewritten Your Word or even called it allegorical. Forgive your people, the Church, for their tolerance of wickedness. Teach us to love the sinner but hate the sin. Give us wisdom, discernment and guidance and anointing to bring the good news of Christ to those in bondage. Set for us divine appointments arranged for those yet to know you.

Let your glory fall on your City Jerusalem and Your holy mountain. Help both Church and Israel understand that it because of our sins, and the iniquities of our fathers that Your remnant is a reproach to all those around us. Bring us to the place where our light shines brightly once again with hope in Messiah Yeshua!  In the times yet before us, raise us up once again as Disciples going forth in obedience to make more disciples. Let our hearts be Yeshua centered and purge our self-centeredness. Help us to really understand who You are and embrace Your Word in the full context in which You have given it to us. Complete the reformation of Your people we pray.

Forgive us, Father God, for failing to recognize the plight of our suffering and persecuted brothers and sisters and for our prayerlessness over them. Forgive us for not praying for our enemies.  Will it take persecution here and now to bring your own people to the knowledge of our terribly desperate need for You? Lord, I pray that conviction fall on Your people. I pray for hearts and minds strong in pursuit of You. I pray for courage and strength to stand fast in times of trouble. I pray for Holy Spirit to fill our hearts and our nation with the refiner’s fire!  I pray, dear Father, that You would allow Your people to gaze upon Your glory!!

Father, I pray revive the hearts of your people.  Cast out false doctrine and false teachers. Bring truth! May we hear and heed the words of Yeshua to Laodicea, “Because you say, ‘I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked—I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent.”

Father, just one more time, might you send a great awakening across America?  Lord, would You prepare your Church to receive a harvest as You awaken the lost?  Lord, would you let Your Spirit roll across this county like a mighty rushing wind in manifestation of revival and awakening such as we have never seen.

Lord, would you make us salt that preserves and makes intensely thirsty.  Make us light that clearly reveals a path in the darkness and reconciles the lost to you, mighty Father, everlasting God, through Your son, our Savior Yeshua, we pray.

Lord, would you save our babies? By your mighty hand, would you call righteousness back to this nation and cause your people to stand up with loud voices? 

Therefore, we pray omnipotent and omnipresent Father; Yeshua, the Word who brings Salvation and victory; Holy Spirit, refiner, comforter, teacher and guide…hear the prayer of Your servants, and our supplications, and for Your sake . . .for your own sake … cause Your face to shine on Your sanctuaries, which are desolate.  

Abba, we pray, incline Your ear and hear; open Your eyes and see our desolations, and the city and peoples which are called by Your name. I do not present my supplications before You because of my righteous deeds for they pathetically small and I struggle with obedience as I seek holiness. But like Daniel, I cry out not because I deserve anything but death, but because of Your great mercies and faithfulness.

O Lord, hear! O Lord, forgive! O Lord, listen and act! Do not delay for Your own sake, our God, and for Your city and Your people who are called by Your name.” Help me Lord, help me walk in love without compromising. Anoint me for your purpose. Empty me of me and fill me with you. Help me love the unlovable and pray for those who are lost with your heart. Amen.